How incredible is our God. I am serious. Have you ever just sat and ponder upon His greatness? I can tell you that in the last week and 2 days, I haven't so much sat and pondered, as He has shown me "in my face", I might add! I sometimes have to actually look at a calender and really think, "was is seriously just last week that all of this 'happened'?"
I m so loved and cherished and I can honestly feel mo Lord's arms around me. I know that I have no control in this situation and for those of you that know me, are thinking, she should be freaking out. I know, I am thinking the same thing, but as I sit here and type this tonight, I feel, Peace! Peace that only He can give and I feel it to my core. I know that the test results could come back positive and Nicholas may need to have open heart surgery. I know that there is a possibility that we could lose him. I should be FREAKING out! I am, sort of, but not really. Now, you tell me, what is that? How is that possible? I will give you one guess and if you don't know the answer, well then, you haven't been "listening" to what I am "saying" you have only been 'reading.'
I am sure you have read the poem, 'Footprints.' I have many times, I have always known what it meant, but the last week and brought new meaning to it for me. I know when I look back o this time I am going to see only 1 set of footprints and I can't tell you how okay I am with that. I am getting to a point with the Lord's help that I think I am starting, maybe with just a few toes, to take a couple of steps again. I am honestly at a really good place, rather, the Lord has me at a really good place. I am cherishing every moment, which s what I should do all the time, but I sometimes forget.
I know that I will have up days and down days, but I also know that no matter what, I am not in control, and I am starting to realize that I am really truly okay with that. I would say that the Lord, has worked a little miracle in my life right there. If you know me, I think, rather I know you would agree! Thank you for continuing on this journey with me. I know there are few, but knowing there are people reading this and honestly "being" with me helps. Of course the prayers help the most. That is truly why I am where I am. that I know and for it I am soooo grateful because without it, I would be a wreck. Just sayin'!
1 comment:
Glad that you have found that peace, will really help you get through whatever answers come your way. I am praying that they find answers for Nicholas and praying that open heart surgery is not the solution but if it is God will hold your son in his hands through then entire process. Hang in there, keep sharing as it will help get you cope and deal with everything that is going on. Talk to you soon, love you!
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