1 Day Old

Friday, July 29th, 2011

So Nicholas and I didn't get much sleep last night, because he decided that he need to be close to the milk source to fall asleep. He didn't feel the need to truly eat all that often, but wanted to be close by and then would fall asleep. He and I talked that this was not the way that this was going to go, because mom needed sleep too. Doug went home to sleep because we live so close to the hospital and well, let's face it, our bed at home is 100 times more comfortable than the "chair" in the room.

I texted Doug at 7:30 and let him know that the Dr Vetter was in doing a check on Nicholas and that he would be in after he was done if Doug wanted to head to the hospital. Well Doug didn't sleep well and fell back asleep until I texted him almost an hour later. We teased him about it, but he did finally make it, however after the doc had given me the update that everything looked good. The only thing the doctor had to share with me, but I asked him about it before he could, was the flexibility and lack of tone in his wrists and ankles, but Dr. Vetter assured me, his muscles, will grow and strengthen and be fine. Part of the reason is because Nicholas is such a long little guy and I wasn't very big so he ran out of room. His giant hands and feet had to have somewhere to go!

Today was a busy day for visitors too. They started around 12 with Auntie Tracy and Uncle Brad. Both boys were there so Tracy and Brad got to see a display of how much our big guy truly loves our little guy. Hugs and kisses galore! The nurse came in shortly before 1 to do a vital check and see how our little guy was doing. While she was checking him over it was time for Tracy and Brad, and Grandma and Jonathan to leave. Jonathan of course had to give one more kiss to Baby Nicholas. Then Jenn and Haley came for a quick visit. Shortly after they got there the nurse told me she didn't like the way his lungs were sounding, like he had "some crud" in them so she wanted the NICU nurses to take a look and just follow up. Jenn got to hold him for a minute and then Debbie, the nurse, wheeled him away.

Jenny stayed for a little while to chat and catch up on all that was happening with her kids and us, then she took her leave. Bob and Karen arrived a little after 1:30 followed by Cecile, Nicholas' Godmother. Of course Nicholas was not back yet and we weren't sure when he would be or what was wrong exactly so we all just visited. It was during their visit the nurse came back in with the pump and showed me how their model worked and told me I should start sooner rather than later not knowing exactly how long Nicholas would be in the NICU.

Our visitors left and we were left to ponder ourselves, what was going on. Every time the nurses came in to check my vitals we would ask them what was happening and where was Nicholas, and they didn't know because they were not in the NICU, but they would ask someone and see if they could get any information back to us. We didn't get a whole lot, so we finally starting walking the halls to try and push the gloomy feelings away. Our nurse let the other staff know where we were so when someone finally decided to come and talk to us, they would know where we were. After about 45 minutes of walking and trying to stay strong, and still not having had anyone really come talk to us, we headed back to the room.

A little before 5:00 (almost 4 hours since we had seen our son) the ENT (ear, nose, throat) doctor came to talk to us and let us know that he had looked him over and he didn't see any problems with any of these functions for Nicholas. This was good as we still had no idea as to what was going on, and why we hadn't heard anything or been brought to see our child. Around 5:00 the NICU doc came in to talk to us. Dr. Jay shared they had run different tests and of course didn't have the results yet but, when he was brought into the NICU they noticed the sound in his lungs so they ran other tests as well. Dr. Jay also shared with us that Nicholas might have what is called, Pierre Robin Syndrome, which is a smaller recessed jaw, a large tongue and a cleft pallet. This of course sent us in a bit of a tailspin, because though we noticed his slightly smaller jaw, we didn't see anything else that was of big concern. Dr. Jay also said he took some blood samples and sent them out for testing for infection and some genetics testing, but those results wouldn't be back right away. We did ask if we could finally go in and see our child.

About 5:15 we were finally allowed to see little Nicholas, and wow, was that hard. Here you have your full term + 1 week little boy under the heater with no clothes, but all sorts of wires and tubes, with an iv in his head, and not being able to do anything about it, or even knowing what was really wrong. Of course before you can even go and see your little babes, you have to scrub your hands and arms for 3 minutes and let me tell you, that can feel like an eternity, truly! We asked if we could hold him and that again was very heart wrenching to have to be so very careful that the wires didn't get pulled out. Of course I didn't want to leave but a nurse had come in to let us know that our celebratory dinner was waiting in our room whenever we were ready and if when we got back anything needed to be re-heated to let them know.

At 6:30ish we headed back to the room because, I needed to eat and because we needed to regroup a little. During this time, we still didn't really have any answers to anything other than they were running tests and trying to find what might have caused the fluid in the lungs and why he was working so hard at times to take breaths. We enjoyed our meal as much as we could as we tried to absorb everything that had happened in the last 6 hours. Mom and dad came up around 7:30 with Jonathan so we could spend some time with him and try to explain and get a grasp on what was going on. We were allowed to bring Jonathan in to the NICU to see Nicholas because he kept asking where he was and didn't understand what was going on either. We still had no answers, but we knew that our Doctor would be by in the morning to talk to us and to work up my discharge papers, so my parents changed their plans so they could be there with us and help us ask ?'s that we might forget.

Today was definitely a whirlwind of emotions, and overwhelming thoughts and well it is hard to even put it all into words. We attempted to try and get a little sleep while I was also trying to pump and help my milk supply come in as they weren't letting Nicholas eat, until they had some answers to make sure he wasn't going to aspirate into his lungs, so I had to pump every few hours to make it mimic a newborn as much as possible!

End of Day 1 and Beginning of a flight of knowing NOTHING!!!!